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A Love Lost, Found, and Lost Again

Have you ever experienced a love that you thought you once had but suddenly disappeared? Or you have this great unspoken love that you want to shout out loud but never had the chance to express? ---- I have experienced that.
It was almost a coincident. I am already making changes in my life. Everything is not a decade ago. Everything is going so well, until that little paper inside an enveloped got opened. Suddenly, I was back to where I was left behind before. But still, I am aware that I am living in the present life. I start asking why… my heart keeps on pounding and beating so fast. Making me feel that at that moment, everything is so right. It is such a PERFECT MOMENT for me.
Things have been pretty much going along with the plan. Every piece of the puzzle is exactly the perfect fit. I’m having the most wonderful experience in my entire life. When out of nowhere, he left. Leaving me hanging and messed-up with life. All he did was ruin everything.
Yes, he made me feel I am special. I have a value. I am not invisible. I am still a human being. Still, he left me…. for the second time around.
Now I am so torn up between the present and the past. I have a wonderful life ahead of me but I am so stocked up with my past. My heart is being shattered; not knowing which way is the right road. I am caught up and prisoned. Back to zero.
I am found a decade ago, lost in the midst of nowhere after a couple of years, time passed by and everything is new, and then I am found again, and then left me for dead after a week. I am starting to curse life. I am starting to hate the timing! I keep on asking myself why… why when my life is running so fine then this someone came back out of nowhere and start ruining the only life I have. Why did I ever let that person enter my life again, and I still like it… more than like it?! And yet, I am still hoping he’ll come back and start fixing and picking up the pieces of my life to make it whole again. But all I can do is dream…. maybe for another decade and so. All I can do is wait…. maybe forever.