LETTER TO A FRIEND
Letter To A Friend
(written: February 16, 2004)
I never had the chance to tell you how much I adore you. More than that, I love you. I am afraid to spill it out ‘coz I know you’ll hate me for doing so. I’m afraid that if I admit my feelings, you’ll leave me. I’m pretending to be your friend. I am pretending that I don’t have feelings for you because I am hoping that someday it might just go away. Or if not, time will heal my longing, aching heart.
I don’t know if you feel the same way for me. I don’t even want to know… but deep inside, I am eager to know. Loving you is the greatest feeling I ever had. A feeling that no one could ever define. I intend to keep it in my heart because I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of our friendship. Although I’m sick and tired of putting myself behind the spotlight, at least I get the chance to be with you even if I’m faking it.
I think of you as my prince charming… my knight and shinning armour. Someone who will save me. Someone who take me away from my illusions and dreams. Someone who will bring me out to reality. Someone who will kiss me so I can wake up from my long and endless sleep. You are everything to me. My everything.
Still, I always believe that friends are not made for each other. We’re friends, just friends… no more, no less. It hurts me knowing that the only person I believed I’m in love with will never be mine because no matter how I try to make you love me, no matter what I do, will never love me back. Then all of a sudden, I realized that our friendship is based on ostentatious images and tragic endings… leaving only parting and hurting words.
On the other hand, if I never had the courage to tell my feelings for you, the moment will surely pass me by. I’ll be regretting the only true feelings I ever had in my life. It scares me that one day I’ll never see you again. It also scares me that one day, you’ll refuse to talk to me because at the back of your head, I am your masquerading and pretentious friend.
Sometimes, I try to ignore you so I won’t be missing you. I try to make excuses so I won’t have any reason to hang out with you. In short, I won’t be thinking of you, I won’t be guilty of loving my friend. In the first place, I shouldn’t be loving you at all.I know I can go on by my own. I can move on without you. Still, I hope that one day, you’ll see through the light. Hoping that one day, I’m the princess of your dreams. The wide awake princess, who patiently waits for his prince charming to held her tight… to kiss… to love.
I don’t know if you feel the same way for me. I don’t even want to know… but deep inside, I am eager to know. Loving you is the greatest feeling I ever had. A feeling that no one could ever define. I intend to keep it in my heart because I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of our friendship. Although I’m sick and tired of putting myself behind the spotlight, at least I get the chance to be with you even if I’m faking it.
I think of you as my prince charming… my knight and shinning armour. Someone who will save me. Someone who take me away from my illusions and dreams. Someone who will bring me out to reality. Someone who will kiss me so I can wake up from my long and endless sleep. You are everything to me. My everything.
Still, I always believe that friends are not made for each other. We’re friends, just friends… no more, no less. It hurts me knowing that the only person I believed I’m in love with will never be mine because no matter how I try to make you love me, no matter what I do, will never love me back. Then all of a sudden, I realized that our friendship is based on ostentatious images and tragic endings… leaving only parting and hurting words.
On the other hand, if I never had the courage to tell my feelings for you, the moment will surely pass me by. I’ll be regretting the only true feelings I ever had in my life. It scares me that one day I’ll never see you again. It also scares me that one day, you’ll refuse to talk to me because at the back of your head, I am your masquerading and pretentious friend.
Sometimes, I try to ignore you so I won’t be missing you. I try to make excuses so I won’t have any reason to hang out with you. In short, I won’t be thinking of you, I won’t be guilty of loving my friend. In the first place, I shouldn’t be loving you at all.I know I can go on by my own. I can move on without you. Still, I hope that one day, you’ll see through the light. Hoping that one day, I’m the princess of your dreams. The wide awake princess, who patiently waits for his prince charming to held her tight… to kiss… to love.
posted by dyeysi at 12:08 PM
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